What Drives Our Hunger for More Sex?
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What Drives Our Hunger for More Sex?

on Jul 16, 2023

Discover the driving forces behind our desire for more sex and explore effective strategies to improve your sex life. Pleasure and procreation aside, the universal longing for increased sexual activity begs the question: What motivates us, and how can we fulfill these desires?



Throughout human history, sex has been an intrinsic part of our existence, fulfilling diverse purposes. While pleasure and procreation were once the primary focus, our comprehension of sexuality has undergone significant evolution. Pioneering research conducted by Cindy Meston and David Buss in 2007 unveiled four fundamental reasons driving our pursuit of sex:

  1. Physical Benefits: Engaging in sex not only brings pleasure but also offers stress relief, a heightened sense of desirability, and the opportunity to explore new physical sensations and experiences.

  2. Goal Attainment: Sex can serve as a pathway to achieve specific objectives, be it starting a family, elevating one's social status, or seeking revenge through intimate encounters.

  3. Emotional Connection: Love, attachment, and emotional security play crucial roles in fostering our deep longing for sexual intimacy. It is through these emotional bonds that we find fulfillment and intimacy in our sexual experiences.

  4. Insecurities: For some individuals, engaging in sex acts as a means to boost self-esteem or alleviate external pressures. They may feel compelled to meet their partner's expectations or use sex as a validation of their worth.

By unraveling the roots of our sexual appetite, we gain a deeper understanding of the complex interplay of physical, emotional, and psychological factors that drive our desire for sexual fulfillment.



    There is no definitive standard for how often one should engage in sexual activity. Normalcy in sexual frequency varies greatly from person to person. One study from some years ago indicates that, on average, adult Americans have sex approximately 54 times per year, roughly amounting to once a week. However, this frequency has declined in recent years, possibly due to higher rates of singlehood. Same time this number strongly depends on the age.

    Various studies have revealed a wide range of sexual frequency among adults, spanning from once a month to twice a week. Numerous factors, such as mental and physical health, relationship status, stress levels, sleep patterns, and physical proximity, influence an individual's sex drive. It's important to recognize that sexual activity naturally fluctuates throughout life, particularly during challenging times like quarantine.



    While fixating on numbers can be counterproductive, there are proactive steps you can take if you wish to enhance your sexual intimacy. Consider the following strategies:

    1. Effective Communication: Initiate a conversation with your partner outside the bedroom, in a neutral setting. This approach alleviates pressure and allows for open dialogue about the factors hindering your sexual connection.

    2. Self-Exploration: Overcoming sexual insecurities can be achieved through self-discovery. Masturbation serves as a powerful tool to connect with your desires, elevate your mood, and alleviate stress and anxiety. Ensure privacy to fully immerse yourself in the experience.

    3. Embrace Novelty: Humans naturally crave novelty in their sexual experiences. Ignite the spark and increase intimacy by exploring scientifically-backed methods to spice up your sex life.

    Remember, changes in sexual frequency are part of the natural ebb and flow of life. Should concerns about a lack of sexual activity persist and interfere with your relationship, seeking guidance from a sex therapist or even your best friend can provide valuable insights and solutions.


    I just had sex but I want more

    After having sex, many of you may experience a heightened craving for more sexual activity. This phenomenon can be explained by several scientific factors. First, hormones play a crucial role, with neurotransmitters like dopamine (linked to pleasure and addiction) and oxytocin (known as the bonding and love hormone) being released during sex. These chemicals create a desire for more of the same experience.

    Additionally, sex has psychological effects that contribute to the craving. A fulfilling sexual experience deepens feelings of love, connection, and self-esteem, making individuals want to recreate those positive emotions.

    For those who didn't reach orgasm during sex, the craving for more can be driven by the desire to achieve release. Communication with a partner about desires and preferences, along with a focus on foreplay, can help address this aspect.

    Lastly, the comedown from a pleasurable experience can contribute to the craving for more sex. This feeling of wanting to be pleased again is a natural response.

    While an increased sex drive can be healthy, it's essential to ensure that it doesn't negatively impact daily life. If it becomes disruptive, seeking therapy or professional help may be beneficial. Masturbation can be a way to satisfy the heightened libido while exploring personal desires and understanding one's own body.

    Elevate your sexual experience by understanding your desires, nurturing open communication, and embracing new possibilities. Discover the joy and fulfillment that a healthy and satisfying sex life can bring.

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